He took his own life on Father’s Day, seven years after his three children were murdered by a drunk driver.
I’m not going to cite the particulars of that fateful day. I just want to reveal some of my thoughts when I read about the death of this grieving father.
I’ve never had suicidal thoughts so I can’t relate to the sense of despair someone feels who has reached that point. Edward Lake said, at the driver’s sentencing hearing, that he had suffered from suicidal thoughts and intense anxiety since the crash.
I can only imagine.
My three children are grown and married and I have two grandkids. All are healthy and independent and I am proud of the adults they have become. I was at their recitals, games, and plays. We enjoyed vacations together, family game nights, and Christmases. There were good times, bad times, stressful times, and fun times.
It was life in a family.
Edward Lake’s children were 9, 5, and 2 years old. He had been a father for nine years. That was part of his identity, his reason for living, his purpose.
And it was taken from him in the cruelest of ways.
Gone are the dreams he had for his children. Gone are the laughter, the shrieks of joy, or the sounds of children playing. Gone are the hugs that only children can give. Gone are the only people that believe that daddy is the strongest and smartest person alive.
The drunk driver came from a billionaire family. The family does good work in the city and had its name on some hospital wards. He was returning from a bachelor party and could have Ubered or taken a helicopter to his home.
Instead, he chose to drive and his actions destroyed a family.
He was sentenced to 10 years in prison but was paroled after 7 years. There are conditions on his parole but essentially he is a free man.
Edward Lake’s children would have been 16, 12, and 9 years of age. Father’s Day came and Edward Lake couldn’t take it anymore. The idea that the killer of his children had paid his debt to society, and was being set free was more than he could bear. His children were never coming back.
I wonder if he was getting the help he needed.
Men have this false notion that they need to be strong and be that shoulder to lean on or cry on. In the meantime, they suffer in silence and don’t talk about what they are going through.
Women are quicker to share their feelings. Jennifer Neville-Lake, the mother of the three children, has shared her grief on TV, giving interviews and keeping their story alive. I wouldn’t be surprised if she sought counsel and comfort from other family and friends. We didn’t see much of or hear from Edward Lake at all.
And now we never will.
Many people believe that suicide is the coward’s way out. Instead of ‘manning up’ and facing their troubles head-on, they take the ‘easy’ way out.
I prefer to walk in someone’s shoes before making that call. As a father, I pray that I never have to walk in Edward Lake’s shoes.
For me, my relationship with Jesus is what gets me through my struggles. I have bible verses that I lean on.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 6-7, NKJV).
The above verse teaches us that in order to guard our hearts and minds, in order to keep those thoughts of self-harm and suicide in captivity:
- Pray
- Be thankful
- Ask God to supply your needs, which include counsel, and comfort.
If you do this, you will have peace that surpasses all understanding. People will wonder how you can be at such peace when going through whatever it is that you’re going through.
When I lost my grandmother, the woman who raised me in the early part of my life, Psalm 23 gave me peace.
It is not good to suffer alone. Hopefully, you have family around you or access to counseling services near you.
Edward Lake saw joining his kids as the only way to stop the pain. It is my prayer that people seek options that include the preservation of life. Taking your life adds grief to those you leave behind.
I wrote this fictional story some time ago.