This is the fourth installment in the series, ‘You Are a Father, so Act Like One.’ This should have been an earlier installment but so be it. I’m learning as I write.
You spent nine months planning, contemplating, and crying. You’ve wondered if you’ll be a good father, if you’ll raise good kids or will they turn out to be monsters.
Time’s up. Your son or daughter is here. Where do you begin?
This is the third installment in the series, ‘You Are a Father so Act Like One.‘
Every child is different. They are born from the same parents; raised in the same home; went to the same schools, and ate the same food, but it doesn’t matter. Personalities are not dependent on those things. They are who they are.
I have two daughters and growing up, they were quite different from each other. We were really blessed that none of our children gave us too much trouble but one daughter pushed the boundaries more than the other.
This is the first installment in the series ‘You Are a Father so Act Like One’.
When my wife told me that she was pregnant I wasn’t ready. The main reason is that she was my girlfriend, not my wife, at the time. Yes, I am old-fashioned. Neither of us thought of being parents any time soon.
However, all things going well, I was going to be a father in 9 months. I had to acknowledge that fact and act accordingly.
I’m sure that you can guess what it’s all about from the title above. I believe that there is no greater duty for a man than to be the best Dad that they can be. There are many factors to what that means, and not all factors apply to everyone.
The Future is a gang of men tasked with tearing down the current political leadership because they feel that it is corrupt. It is a relatively new gang and needs to add to its numbers. They do this by kidnapping boys and making them boy soldiers.
Tola is part of the football team in his new school in Lobani. On the way to a match with another school, his bus is jacked and the boys were taken to join The Future.
The will to survive is on display and the mounted rescue is thwarted at every turn.
Book will be out in early December.
Escape To Goma
Escape To Goma is a prequel to the one to come. It is available in paperback or ebook form on Amazon.
Yep, they are gone. The birds have flown the coup.
We sent the last one off this past weekend. The wedding was a success, a beautiful combo of laughter and tears; frustration and exhaustion; joy and happy sadness.
Thankfully, my wife Kristen, and I have a plan. The next phase of our lives has been thought out. We’re not wondering what we’re going to do next. We know exactly what we’re going to do.
Becoming full-time grandparents. We have two beauties at the moment. We can’t resist them. So we’re packing up and moving 1800km eastward to watch them grow and to be an active part of the process.
So while our house will be empty most of the time, there will be the occasional pitter-patter of children running around, joyful laughter, or crying caused by a scraped knee. All that will bring us joy.
The rest of our life together. Grandkids can do a lot for couples in their later years. We’re still in our mid-50s and full of vim and vigour. Most of our time will be spent with each other. Thankfully, we’re okay with that. While the move is to be near our grandkids, we also have plans for the two of us. We have small plans like daily walks or long drives. We have big plans like European river cruises or African safaris. Either way keeping our own relationship vibrant will be the key to having other fruitful relationships.
This is a season of change for us. And we’re ready.
At the age of twelve, Tola Matthews had his life turned upside down. The Gamba tribe attacked his village of Dlambona sending him on the run with his mother and two younger sisters.
The harrowing journey to meet up with his father, a domestic worker in the town of Lobani, is one Tola would never forget and it forced him to grow up before his time.
Escape to Goma is a story of faith, family, and the fight to survive.
I never heard my Dad say, “Just wait until your Mom gets home.” He was a disciplinarian. His method of discipline would get him in trouble these days. We had to go outside and get our own switch.
For me, it didn’t matter that the discipline hurt. I had disappointed my Dad when I yearned to make him proud.
“My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” (Heb 12: 5,6 NLT)
My Mom disciplined us as well. But there was something about receiving correction from Dad that inspired behaviour change in me.
A weak man leaves the discipline to his wife.
This is a man who is insecure because he wants his children to like him. He wants to be their friend, not their father.
This is a man who doesn’t love his wife because he doesn’t mind if she’s the bad guy to their kids.
This is a man who is shortsighted because he doesn’t see the harm he is causing by not disciplining his children.
This is a man who is apathetic. He has become indifferent and passive. He has deferred his role as a father. I would bet that his wife doesn’t respect him and their sex life is non-existent. The sad thing is that he doesn’t care.
For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Heb 12:11 ESV).
Being a father isn’t easy. We can’t coast and expect our kids to find their way on their own.
Yes, some will make it. But many will struggle, falling into pits on the way.
Our roles as teacher, provider, protector, discipliner, and family-lover cannot be taken lightly. We cannot take it easy or take shortcuts.
